Quick Thoughts On Relationships

     Bryce why are you not married??!!!! You don’t even want to know how many times I am asked that from family every time I see them. And since its Valentine’s day, I thought it would be a perfect time to talk about relationships.

      Let’s first start out with my situation. Being born into a brown family, you are expected to be married young and quick. For some reason, its like a symbol of you have your shit and life together. And to be honest, I always wanted to be married really young. That was my dream to be married, travel, and then settle down and be a young dad to an army of kids (yes, an army, I want a starting basketball lineup of kids). But that’s not how it turned out. After numerous relationships that I will admit I was stupid and selfish turned out not so good, i have taken some time to myself and my goals in life. And I've learned a few things from those relationships and my time not being with someone and here are just a few quick thoughts of mine.

      First, if you don’t find someone so be it. We are so conditioned by society that we must be with someone, that it’s a bad thing when we are not dating or married. That’s not even close to the truth. If you don’t find someone you love why does that matter. Instead of focusing on needing to find a relationship, focus on finding yourself, and once you find that you're able to see more clearly what you need and want from a partner. Plus, how can you ask for someone when you are not at your best self. What I mean by this is if you don’t have your shit together don’t expect to find someone who does (and if you do there will be a lot of arguing and fighting over small things).

      If you’re not ready for a relationship, don’t put someone else through your bullshit. If you going to mess around or be a shitty boyfriend or girlfriend get out of the relationship or better off don’t get into it from the beginning. And if you ever have the feeling of wanting to cheat, end the relationship. You’re not helping by saying you don’t want to hurt the person by breaking up with them. You’re hurting them by going behind their back. You’re the lousy person.

      Don’t settle. To many people settle for their partners. From my generation, the divorce rate is so high because couples are settling and getting married, then realizing a year later that they are not right for each other. Settling causes divorces, cheating and arguments. Also, physical proximity has a lot to do with the people you surround yourself with and make relationships with. When you are forced to be around someone for long periods of time you tend to interact with them because of them being close to you and being a convenience for you. Don’t settle for someone because you’re in the same city as them. There’s so much out there. Find the one you really want to be with till your old.

      Now when you are in a relationship I just have a few things to talk about. First, talk, talk, talk. Talk about your issues in the relationships and outside of it. This is the only way you two will be on the same page. Also, honesty is the only way that a relationship is going to continue forever. Once you lie once, that trust is broken forever. And lastly, you have to make sacrifices. You need to do things that will put a smile on your partners face, just for them and not your benefit. Support each other's goals and dreams and do whatever you can to help your partner achieve their goals. EVEN WHEN YOU'RE NOT ASKED TO.

     That’s it for my quick thoughts on relationships. There is so much more I could talk about, but I can continue that later on. One last thing though, remember you are good enough. You deserve the best, and no one should take that power away from you. You get to create the life you want, and you get to create your own happiness.

Bryce DhillonComment